Prayer Journal
6/4/20
Dear God,
You work wonders! I feel like laughing at myself, but you are funnier. The tricks you play on Your people.. when we obey you, we see the joke! I want to laugh at all the stupid things I said aloud and ridiculous beliefs I held onto, driven and inspired by my anger – I held onto anger like it was the most precious thing in the world that could protect me from all the harm of the earth. Little did I know, it was what harmed me for the longest time. It harmed others too.
I do feel your protection. It is hard to deny that You have had a hand in how my life turned out. The disappointments were significant, but I fought them with my human abilities. Every single chapter, I fought them victoriously. But angrily. I achieved my milestones with a vengeance. I wanted success to overcome the hurt of rejection. I learnt that this is how human survive pain, living in darkness with a small candle that never burned out.
Thank You for switching on the lights. I am going to learn to manage my life more significantly from now on, with Your ways. I borrow Your light. May I be the fastest learner there is, please enable my competitive spirit to activate here – but with correct sportsmanship. You have given me the abilities, I will develop them further, in Your glory.
I realise now what I can do with the high favours you have possessed me with, and I bound myself to a commitment to use them for Your intentions.
I felt Your promises unfolding for many years now. It kept me excited about my future. The years burned into my heart a sacrificial passion to carry out a life calling. Discomfort never stopped me. Insolvency never stopped me. Rejection never stopped me. Unpopularity was doable. I only heard Your whispers, playing like a broken record in my sleep. Sometimes You piped music, original songs that I was to compose. Please visit me with my gospel sounds next. I thank You for this inspiration.
Whispering of love in my sleep, I had no idea what those promises were, subconsciously I knew they came from You. Inevitably you left me breadcrumbs that led me to extraordinary things, which continues to happen in my life – I knew You chose me, I thought I knew why, but I am still in discovery.
Small little explosions of milestones happened each year. They looked significant when it happened, You told me over time that those were just the peripheral elements of a greater vision. A vision I do not have privy to, but the jigsaws are fitting together. Every month for many years, I get affirmation from the media too. When I was on top of the world, I was begrudged to mistake that the might was mine. But the real deal hasn’t even taken place yet. It is time to return the credit to You. I am humbled by this sudden realisation. The glory is yours.
“The heavens declare the glory of God, and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. Day to day pours out speech, and night to night reveals knowledge.” (Psalm 19:1-2)
I am glad You are in my life again. Sometimes the burdens of the world tempts me to think that I can do this without You, and I thank the Holy Spirit for whispering to me a truth that I cannot deny from You. Please bless me with continuous protection and cast away Satan’s influence.
All these years I never once acknowledged Satan for having a hand in my life, but I’ve met him so many times, partied with him, kept him in close company, and even slept with him. Trust me, Satan was fun to have around! He made himself useful. But acknowledging Satan means I have to get real with God. I didn’t want to get real for years, and Satan was sneaky at all attempts. He was having a wild time messing things up and making it look alright, he is wicked at what he does and is evil with his favours. HELLO SATAN!
Satan is real isn’t he? We should give him due acknowledgements for doing a wonderful job right now as we speak. The world is crumbling and people are lost in the hurtful stream of news. There are more good than bad in this world. Right now, the only source of healing and positivity is in each and everyone of us.
The media is in the hands of people who drowned out their wisdom. They are delivering a vision that isn’t from you God. May all these falsifications awaken the emotional might in all Your children and the lost souls who have yet to know You. Humans have a choice to find Your beauty in their current life, God please awaken that birthright.
I pray all these in Your most powerful name.
Amen.